Case Conference

I was introduced to the world of case conference today. Where residents, fellows, and prestigious ID physicians got together to discuss two separate cases. One might say it was a "pimping" extravaganza. I personally think that the attendings spent their entire night researching the most obscure and off the topic minute details about medicine and then asked the resident about aforementioned detail to make the resident look like an ass. It was pretty funny as an onlooker I have to say. The first patient who recently passed had novel h1n1 (swine flu) and what was so intriguing about the whole thing is that the strain of h1n1 was actually airborne... SCARY. Considering it should only be contact precautions which opens up a whole new world to the swine flu. The PHD I work with is the head of the CDC division here in san antonio and has been conducting a 15 year research project. Which is a really big deal if you know how research and grants goes. Anyways, he says the swine flu should be a relatively big threat this season due to the recent activity in the southern hemisphere. I digressed though, back to case conference. Here are a few quotes I heard from some attendings.

"Well why dont we just pull out her nose hair she would at least be aesthetically pleasing."

" Shit, are you fucking trying to kill your patients or are you simply that ignorant?"

" That women smelled like shit. How am I supposed to see patients if they smell like feces its their fault I cant stay in the room." (excuse for not knowing ANYTHING about his patient."

Cant wait to see what I get out of next weeks case conference.

Reflection...

I seem to have had some interesting patient experiences that often make me question if medicine is right for me. However, sometimes I come across a patient that forces me to take a step back and reflect upon my life and what I want from life. This morning I was rounding with the residents and I walked into the room of a reserved 16 yo girl. She was under suicide watch and was restrained. I had to wonder what in her life was so bad that she couldn't handle life and wanted out. She was a ballerina and couldn't handle the pressure of keeping her weight down and she said she simply couldn't do it anymore. It made me think because I was once a ballet dancer and I remember being underweight and still would have to lose 10 lbs to perform. It made me realize that doctors get to experience some of the most intimate moments with a patient. Reflecting upon their suicide seems like one of those intimate moments. They also get to be present for birth and death and the decisions that go along with both of those. It was a lot to take in for one morning.

Less serious matters if you haven't seen Religulous by bill maher I suggest you watch it immediately. It exposes the rediculous aspects of religion as a whole. I enjoyed him calling out religious figures for what they really are. He also exposed the intolerance of GLBT and I was glad somebody finally pointed out how dangerous religion can be. One woman was protesting exclaiming that it wasnt her that hated gay people it was God therefore she wanted to kill them. REALLY??? Shouldnt the creator of life someone whose supposed to be perfect in all ways really want to kill. It seems to go against everything the christian religion is supposed to be about. However, there was a church devoted to pot smoking. That seemed pretty amazing within itself... Not that I smoke but seriously a church of pot hahaha it makes me laugh...

You put WHAT where?

Today I rounded with a group of residents and fellows so I would be prepared for the upcoming infectious disease case study review. Needless to say I was very excited to get to see patients and have an insight into the world of medicine. Also, I got an insight into the hilariousness of medicine that I have heard about but only recently did I experience first hand.

Patient one- Male with a priopism ( aka. hard penis) lasting more than three days. This said male acquired this condition from a "recreational" cocaine habit. Irony at its best, but I digress. The topic of possible amputation came up today to which he seemed a bit taken aback and vehemently refused amputation at all costs. Right well. We shall see what happens there.

Patient two- Male who had a dildo stuck in his anus. Can I just say that made my day. His wife was pissed due to the fact that his partner was the accomplice in this said dildo extravaganza. The dildo was removed and sent to pathology. Im assuming this was done to be funny.

I feel pretty lucky to have had so many interesting patient encounters today. Oh if only every patient had something like that. Alas, its not always that exiting.

Future MD

Conversation gems picked up from unsuspecting MS2:

boy1: dude, i wonder how many other people practiced on her before me? She was loose!

boy2: Nah man, mine smelled horrible and she has period problems. I thought I was going to puke...

boy1: Well, I want to specialize in GYN but for only hott blondes between 20-27..

Watch out ladies, a group of future doctors are planning their attack on you now... RUN

In other news, it is somewhat hard to cram 30 chapters worth of information in your head in one week. Its almost impossible, but I am managing to suffer through with coffee and absorb most of it.