Case Conference

I was introduced to the world of case conference today. Where residents, fellows, and prestigious ID physicians got together to discuss two separate cases. One might say it was a "pimping" extravaganza. I personally think that the attendings spent their entire night researching the most obscure and off the topic minute details about medicine and then asked the resident about aforementioned detail to make the resident look like an ass. It was pretty funny as an onlooker I have to say. The first patient who recently passed had novel h1n1 (swine flu) and what was so intriguing about the whole thing is that the strain of h1n1 was actually airborne... SCARY. Considering it should only be contact precautions which opens up a whole new world to the swine flu. The PHD I work with is the head of the CDC division here in san antonio and has been conducting a 15 year research project. Which is a really big deal if you know how research and grants goes. Anyways, he says the swine flu should be a relatively big threat this season due to the recent activity in the southern hemisphere. I digressed though, back to case conference. Here are a few quotes I heard from some attendings.

"Well why dont we just pull out her nose hair she would at least be aesthetically pleasing."

" Shit, are you fucking trying to kill your patients or are you simply that ignorant?"

" That women smelled like shit. How am I supposed to see patients if they smell like feces its their fault I cant stay in the room." (excuse for not knowing ANYTHING about his patient."

Cant wait to see what I get out of next weeks case conference.

Reflection...

I seem to have had some interesting patient experiences that often make me question if medicine is right for me. However, sometimes I come across a patient that forces me to take a step back and reflect upon my life and what I want from life. This morning I was rounding with the residents and I walked into the room of a reserved 16 yo girl. She was under suicide watch and was restrained. I had to wonder what in her life was so bad that she couldn't handle life and wanted out. She was a ballerina and couldn't handle the pressure of keeping her weight down and she said she simply couldn't do it anymore. It made me think because I was once a ballet dancer and I remember being underweight and still would have to lose 10 lbs to perform. It made me realize that doctors get to experience some of the most intimate moments with a patient. Reflecting upon their suicide seems like one of those intimate moments. They also get to be present for birth and death and the decisions that go along with both of those. It was a lot to take in for one morning.

Less serious matters if you haven't seen Religulous by bill maher I suggest you watch it immediately. It exposes the rediculous aspects of religion as a whole. I enjoyed him calling out religious figures for what they really are. He also exposed the intolerance of GLBT and I was glad somebody finally pointed out how dangerous religion can be. One woman was protesting exclaiming that it wasnt her that hated gay people it was God therefore she wanted to kill them. REALLY??? Shouldnt the creator of life someone whose supposed to be perfect in all ways really want to kill. It seems to go against everything the christian religion is supposed to be about. However, there was a church devoted to pot smoking. That seemed pretty amazing within itself... Not that I smoke but seriously a church of pot hahaha it makes me laugh...

You put WHAT where?

Today I rounded with a group of residents and fellows so I would be prepared for the upcoming infectious disease case study review. Needless to say I was very excited to get to see patients and have an insight into the world of medicine. Also, I got an insight into the hilariousness of medicine that I have heard about but only recently did I experience first hand.

Patient one- Male with a priopism ( aka. hard penis) lasting more than three days. This said male acquired this condition from a "recreational" cocaine habit. Irony at its best, but I digress. The topic of possible amputation came up today to which he seemed a bit taken aback and vehemently refused amputation at all costs. Right well. We shall see what happens there.

Patient two- Male who had a dildo stuck in his anus. Can I just say that made my day. His wife was pissed due to the fact that his partner was the accomplice in this said dildo extravaganza. The dildo was removed and sent to pathology. Im assuming this was done to be funny.

I feel pretty lucky to have had so many interesting patient encounters today. Oh if only every patient had something like that. Alas, its not always that exiting.

Future MD

Conversation gems picked up from unsuspecting MS2:

boy1: dude, i wonder how many other people practiced on her before me? She was loose!

boy2: Nah man, mine smelled horrible and she has period problems. I thought I was going to puke...

boy1: Well, I want to specialize in GYN but for only hott blondes between 20-27..

Watch out ladies, a group of future doctors are planning their attack on you now... RUN

In other news, it is somewhat hard to cram 30 chapters worth of information in your head in one week. Its almost impossible, but I am managing to suffer through with coffee and absorb most of it.

Is it worth it?

While cataloging all of my fantastic qualities (God-complex much?) and trying to slim them down and put them into a two page collection of bullshit that I call my personal statement I realized; I have NO clue why I want to be a doctor... OK, 50,000 dollars, a billion volunteer hours, missed parties, shadowing on SUNDAYS (who does that) and several nights spent at the library studying for ten plus hours being extremely tired grabbing a cup of coffee and still going --and I dont know WHY im doing it? Lets see: I want to help people.. dont we all? I could save myself a 100 thousand plus and work at a homeless shelter that would be a hell of a lot cheaper and it would do wonders for my sanity. I want money? well no thats not why I want to be a doctor at all, i want to be an infectious disease doctor they make less than family practice so that cant be it. Power- ive never been one to assert authority over people its just not in my nature I want everyone to get along-sorta. Is it the shiny white coat? well, yea maybe but that cant be the entire reason... right? I realized I dont have an amazing story to tell. Sure, ive experienced death of a loved one, ive seen the fear in a patients eyes before surgery and even right before death, ive seen them bag a body, I've experienced the joy of telling a patient she was cancer free, but none of that is the exact reason why I decided I was going to kiss away a social life and family and pursue this. It must be the most important thing to me because its all I think about and I've sacrificed a lot. I've even opted to pay for my own college and work when I could be at home living off of my family. So I know there has got to be something I know I genuinely want to be a doctor but I just cant put it into words....

----If only I could tell the admissions committee that.

Running

Why do we run? 

It seems as if when im faced with a difficult situation my instincts are to run. To simply drop everything and everyone I care about and run away. I leave all responsibilities and friends and start anew. Why do I have this instinct to just leave? How, can I have the ability to detach myself from family/friends that I once cared about and simply forget them all together. 

I have to wonder if I will get into medical school. It seems as if its been my dream since I can remember and I know I have a great shot at getting in, but what if im not good enough? What if I get rejected. Will I simply run away like I always do? Or will I face the rejection and push forward to get in. What can I possibly do with a biology degree? 

 I guess only time will tell. Until then I guess ill continue the endless volunteer/research/shadowing... 

WHY so serious?

Is it just me or are pre-med students a whole other breed or even species if you will when it comes to the realm of collegiates. I am beginning to wonder if having an interest in medicine means to insert a long probe like object into your anus and leave it there for your remaining college career. What about being "pre-med" entitles a student to a sense of grandious behaviour?
Case in Point: Today being the friendly collegiate pre med that I am I was handing out flyers for the pre-med society social gathering( ok yes I admit it I am in a pre-med society and I am a bit ashamed, but hey im social). This gathering includes trying to round up more gunner students to pay dues to me so I can go on fancy trips to medical schools and such. Its all very legit. I meet a student who is obtaining a liberal arts degree and was considering medicine. I was excited that this person was not a robotic, question asking, cut-throat, typical type A like the others. We began talking and I made sure to invite this student to the aforementioned end of the year bash. A fellow pre med officer decides to take it upon himself to degrade this person because they were a liberal arts major whom appearantly wasnt smart enough to make the cut. ( I mean REALLY? your a pre-medical society officer; could you have a more socially embarassing title) Also because this person in question did not have their own special spot at the library and didnt obstain from all things social and good they just didnt have what it takes.
OK, since when is having the ability to function in other subjects besides science a bad thing? Would it be horrible if doctors not only wrote orders but did so with flawless sentence structure and adequate spelling? Is is bad if someone other than the typical gunner, socially awkward student would like to wear a fancy white coat and prescribe medications. ( while i know there is more to being an M.D the white coat and prescription pad are the two main contributing factors behind my application, dont lie and say your not impressed) With that being said this certain pre-med student proceeded to leave the room and fall on his ass making the world somehow seem right again. BTW could I have used the term pre-med anymore? geez...........